How To Get Rid Of A Poltergeist (According To Movies)

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3. Pretend Nothing Is Happening

This works especially well if you are the patriarch of your family. It seems like dads are simply immune to weird stuff going on around them. I have a theory that it’s because they’re just too exhausted after a hard day of telling dad jokes to notice.

‘Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark’ is a prime example of this. Guy Pearce, his girlfriend Dawson’s Creek, and his daughter, Sally, move into an abandoned estate with the intention of renovating and selling it. Right away, Sally knows something is up when she starts hearing voices and finds a human tooth in the basement. She realizes that she is being stalked by actual tooth fairies. These aren’t the half dressed pint sized lovely ladies we are familiar with, these are scary ass little monsters.

The movie is fraught with  cryptic warnings that go unheeded and plenty of paternal ignorance. In fact, it seems that Pearce isn’t very phased by it all until his girlfriend literally has both her legs broken in half while being sucked into an old fireplace by a horde of bone eating goblins.

Sometimes, though, it isn’t just an issue of Dad not believing, sometimes you even begin to doubt yourself.

Take Matt Campbell, he is a teenager undergoing experimental treatments for his aggressive cancer. The drugs he is taking could possibly cause hallucinations. His alcoholic father is always on the road for his job, and his mother is just trying to keep a financially and emotionally strained family together. With terrifying apparitions piled on top of that, it seems easier just to pretend nothing is going on.

Of course, they can’t ignore it for long, especially after finding out that their house was once a funeral parlor, one with a very dark secret. The spirits become incredibly dangerous, and attempt to murder the family. Dad stumbles home drunk at one point complaining about the lights being on, then–bam–everything is on fire.

Seriously evil stuff begins to go down, and you’ll just have to check out  the movie (or the true story) to find out what happens.

So, it seems that ignoring the problem probably isn’t the best route to take.