Review of ‘The Hideout’ From Chaotic Films

Before I start my review, I want to thank Chaotic Films for allowing me to see their film before it’s released. It was very generous of you guys, and I am so sorry for the review I’m about to give.

Don’t worry, no spoilers ahead:

‘The Hideout’ is a zombie film of sorts. It begins with a man and a women trapped by the ‘infected’–with little hope it seems–and immediately cuts to a very, very badly filtered opening sequence. I’m all for some cheesy stuff in zombie movies–but seriously–this filter was like watching a bad grunge video from the 90s.

We go back in time a few hours to our protagonist entering a bar, terribly written, and acted, banter ensues with the female bartender.He meets with a notorious Irish gangster who tells him (and now the recently fired bartender) that he and a group of guys are to rob a bank for him. This particular gangster has a penchant for torturing guys by putting hot metal coat hangers up

men’s urethra’s, so they agree. Honestly, if the acting wasn’t so distractingly bad, this guy might have made an okay villain.

The group robs the bank and goes to the hideout [hey that’s the name of the movie!] to wait for Irish gang boss to show up and split the cash with them. That’s when they begin to realize the people around them are slowly turning into crazed, bloodthirsty, lunatics.

They hear a news report about the heat causing all the changes in people. No really, people get overheated and turn into zombies. That is the only explanation given; and the cure is to ‘keep cool and hydrated’. I do believe that this is the laziest description of zombie-ism I’ve ever heard.

I can’t say much else about the story without giving anything away. What I took away from this film was [very] bad acting, and even worse writing. Whoever was in charge of the script really needs to cut down on the cutesy dialogue. The protagonist un-ironically calls the bartender “toots” at one point, and I think I sprained my ocular muscles from the epic eye roll I gave.

I’m not sure if the blame for the bad acting should all be on the actors, at one point a character stumbles over his lines pretty badly and I couldn’t believe they used that take. That seemed to be a theme though, it just didn’t feeel like enough effort was put into the film. I don’t think the budget was at fault either. I’ve seen some incredible horror films done for couch change.

In the end, this probably made a pretty good short. There wasn’t a very complicated or rich story that needed to be told, and it seems like the budget was stretched thin over this feature length film. A short could have been good practice to the actors and crew alike, and the story would have felt less convoluted and trivial. It’s a shame, because the ending is great, and would have been better used in a great short film.

Can’t wait to see what’s next from the guys at Chaotic Films, I’m sure they’ll get all the kinks worked out for their next project.