Five Horror Classics That Should Never Be Remade, Rebooted, Recalibrated, Whatever

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Se7en (1995)

Blending elements of the crime and horror genres into one of the gloomiest and freaking wettest films I have ever seen, I would personally watch David Fincher’s “Se7en” over “The Silence of the Lambs” 8 out of 10 times.  Yes – I just typed that.

Horror purists may try and crucify me for including this film, but if a story about a serial killer who murders his victims based on the seven deadly sins – a killer who sliced off his own fingerprints to avoid being caught . . . until he was ready to be caught – isn’t horrifying, then I don’t know what is.  And the manners in which John Doe disposes of his victims?  Some of the most grisly murders, ever.

Of course, the movie manages to suggest way more violence than it shows – the scene with the dude who was forced to rape a prostitute wearing a bladed S&M device, for example – which might inspire someone to remake this baby with ramped up gore effects.  I’m a big fan of gore under certain circumstances, but the terror found in “Se7en” stems less from the murders themselves and more from the omnipresent feeling that things are not going to end well for our very likable heroes.

And as the final confrontation between Detective Mills and John Doe – the box scene – proves, sometimes, your imagination is far more terrifying than anything shown to you on the screen.

There you have it – my humble list!  Believe me, this list is not definitive – there are more classics I could put on here, some of which have already been remade, to my chagrin.  Share with me YOUR horror classics that you wish were untouchable!

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