V/H/S: Viral Brings The Franchise One Step Closer To Going Dark
The DVD and Blu-ray release of V/H/S: Viral hit shelves today – is it worth seeing it, for those of you who waited this long? Yes – but is it worth PURCHASING?
Apparently, one of the toughest things about working in the horror industry is knowing when to stop.
Sure, there are franchises in other genres (action, science fiction) that have churned out two or three sequels following the success of the original film, but when it comes to horror films, sequels are pretty much the norm. It’s rare to find a horror film that doesn’t inspire at least one sequel, even if the original film was just moderately successful.
Case in point: the “V/H/S” series. It’s not like the first entry was hugely successful, yet it has spanned not one but two sequels. The good news is, “V/H/S/2” was a definite improvement over the first, with a leaner running time and a more even collection of stories. The bad news is the franchise probably should have stopped there, but didn’t.
Synopsis
Following the lead of the two films that came before it, “V/H/S: Viral” opens with a frame narrative involving a dude (Zach) who has a hot girlfriend (Iris) but is somehow more interested in filming her through his camcorder than actually physically interacting with her. Cue commentary about society’s voyeuristic tendencies. Oh, and they live with his grandma. Cue lame “grandma naked in the bathroom” shot for laughs, ha ha!
One night, while Zach and Iris are arguing about something that never gets explained to us, they tune in to their local news to discover that an ice cream truck is leading the police through a sort-of high speed chase through the streets of Los Angeles. Convinced that this is his big moment, Zach decides to join the pursuit . . . and then the truck begins to broadcast some crazy-ass videos, and all hell breaks loose.
I think. Shit, this part of the movie was a disaster.
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Thankfully, things mostly improve once we get into the actual videos that are being broadcast. First, we get a story about a magician who somehow stumbles across Harry Houdini’s cloak, an item which gives its owner great power as long as its appetite for blood is satisfied. Next up is a story about a Spanish dude who creates a portal to alternative dimension and comes to realize that spending fifteen minutes in his doppleganger’s universe was about fourteen minutes too long. Finally, we get a tale about some skateboarders who unwittingly trigger some sort of Mexican death cult ritual.
(Coincidentally, that is exactly the reason why I stopped skateboarding – true!)
And then the movie ends with Los Angeles triggering the apocalypse?!? What the **** did I just watch?!?
My Verdict
I am so glad that common sense steered me toward renting this movie instead of dropping more then $15 to purchase it on Blu-ray. In no way shape or form is this flick worth a purchase, despite the fact that the DVD and Blu-ray copies of this film include a hidden segment.
For starters, the frame narrative was such a disjointed mess, filled with ideas that were only somewhat fleshed out, that I immediately took to the Internet to find some discussions and summaries of the movie, just to make sure I didn’t miss anything – and I didn’t. The minute you start thinking, “There must be some deeper meaning to this,” you have officially put more thought into analyzing this part of the story than the writers did creating it.
To make matters worse, the shabby “plot” of the frame narrative is made even more difficult to follow thanks to the decision to constantly insert static blurs and quick shots of scenes from the other two “V/H/S’ movies. Thanks for trying to give me a seizure, guys!
The biggest sin of this movie, though? It’s not scary. At all. More than anything, the stories resemble wild Twilight Zone episodes than they do horror stories. The stories are all interesting, even if they are of uneven value, but they fail to build up any sort of meaningful tension.
For those reasons, I can recommend that you rent this movie, either digitally or at a Redbox kiosk, if you have not seen it already . . . but that’s all. Tossing an extra story that was cut from the original release is a cheap way to squeeze some extra cash out of fans, so stay strong and spend your money on better things.
And be prepared for “V/H/S/ 4,” because you know it’s on the horizon.