That Time Arnold Schwarzenegger Did ‘Tales From the Crypt’


Hollywood icon Arnold Schwarzenegger has been getting a lot of attention as of late.  The actor recently reprised his role as the Terminator alongside Emilia Clarke in Terminator: Genisys, revisiting the franchise that made him famous.  Arnie even managed to impress many horror movie fans with an excellent performance in the zombie drama flick, Maggie.

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However, many of Arnold’s fans may not realize that Maggie was not the Austrian bodybuilder’s first foray into the realm of horror.  In 1990, Arnie directed a Season 2 episode of the cult classic TV series Tales From the Crypt.  And not only was the big guy in the director’s chair, but he even got to meet the Crypt Keeper himself!  Schwarzenegger did a cameo as himself during the beginning of the show, wearing a Tales From the Crypt t-shirt and razzing the Crypt Keeper before introducing the episode.

Carlton is “too old” to marry his dreamgirl.

The episode was called The Switch, and it was a simple tale of love gone wrong.  In it, a rich old man named Carlton expresses to his servant his desire to marry a beautiful, young woman.  To be sure she isn’t only marrying him for his money, however, Carlton doesn’t let the woman know how rich he truly is.  He pops the question to her, only to be turned down after being called “too old.”

You’re “too old” to marry, unless you’re filthy rich!

In his quest to win the heart of the girl he loves, Carlton enlists a doctor (who looks more like a mad scientist) who swears to be able to switch faces with a young, athletic man named Hans.  Carlton spends a hefty fortune for the new face to be grafted over his own, years before John Travolta and Nic Cage made it cool.  His girlfriend is impressed with his new looks, but the rest of his body still seems unappealing, causing Carlton to end up spending the rest of his riches to completely trade bodies with the younger Hans.  The twist at the end is that (SPOILER ALERT!) his girlfriend ends up marrying Hans, who now uses Carlton’s aged body, simply because of his newfound wealth.  If only Carlton had been honest from the very beginning!

After the story, we can see that things didn’t turn out much better for Arnie himself.  The future Governor is seen lifeless on a table in front of the Crypt Keeper, his body being filled with embalming fluid.  In true Tales From the Crypt fashion, the Crypt Keeper makes a comment about “pumping you up” before cackling maniacally.  Although things didn’t work out for Arnold any better than they did with Carlton in the story, The Switch is one of the better episodes of the series.  If you can get your hands on Season 2 of Tales From the Crypt, I highly recommend checking this one out!

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