Why Wendy Liebman Should Have Been a Horror Film Child Star


Fear is subjective. Never in my life have I been rendered frightened by a child’s image.

Until last night…

Wendy Liebman’s profile picture on Twitter became a nightmare within the confines of my psyche. A nightmare that would have been intensified if she had been a scream queen at an early age.

Take a look at the haunting picture below:

(Photo from Twitter)

I thought Corey Feldman‘s character in Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter — Tommy Jarvis — was somewhat scary. Then again I perceived his character to be a Lucha Libre luchador (Hola amigos, El Guero Nino vs. Jason in a mask vs. hair match, tonight on the El Rey Network). The not-so-scary Kimberly Beck interfered and removed Jason’s mask.

Feldman was on multiple somas and mescaline which led him to attempting to shave his head with a rooster beak. On a serious note, I love the ominous stare that Feldman gives the camera prior to the credits.

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 Wendy Liebman is an extremely talented comedian and beautiful woman. However, as a child, she had looks that killed. Or at least would have if Drew Barrymore wasn’t hogging up all the roles while simultaneously purchasing narcotics from Joey Diaz. I can see it now – Wendy Liebman stars in Carrie 2. Sissy Spacek would have stayed underground at the end of the first film if Liebman was walking towards the grave with a floral arrangement.

 If Wendy Liebman was in The Shining, Jack Torrance would have written “All work and no play makes Jack afraid of his daughter”. Stanley Kubrick would have been a joy to work with. Stephen King‘s view of the movie wouldn’t have changed much though. “I personally would have cast a child that doesn’t cause my prostate to swell to play the Torrance offspring. I mean, why cast a child that invokes more fear than the Grady twins?”

Comparing appearances at a similar age, Wendy Liebman makes them look like the Bella Twins from WWE. (Photo from Warner Bros)

Even Roger Ebert wouldn’t have complained about whether or not Jack Nicholson‘s character’s frozen body was discovered. Who I am kidding, of course he would have. However, he would have included the following statement: “Wendy Liebman was by far the most frightening child I’ve seen since peering through a mirror in the days of my youth. If Henri Fuseli was still alive, his next oil painting would be a portrait of Wendy Liebman.”

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Wendy Liebman will be appearing on August 12th and 13th at Harvey’s Comedy Club in Portland, Oregon. She is all grown up now so there is no need to take a crucifix and holy water to the show. For more information, you can follow both Wendy Liebman and Harvey’s Comedy Club on Twitter or visit comedy club’s website.

Other than your own children, provide examples of children that make you shake like a dog pooping a peach seed by commenting below. Then return to 1428 Elm for your horror entertainment needs.