Twin Peaks – The Return: Can’t see without a cosmic flashlight

Credit: Showtime

Double R Trouble

Norma Jennings (Peggy Lipton) sits in a booth and watches Shelly Johnson give money to the Meals on Wheels girl, Becky Burnett (Amanda Seyfried). One can tell by looking at Norma that she is not happy about this turn of events.

Once Becky leaves the restaurant, Norma approaches Shelly. She tells her that she needs to get Becky help. The two women watch as Becky gets in the car with Steven. Nervous at being watched, Steven guns the Trans-Am and pulls to a different spot in the parking lot.

There they proceed to make out a little bit and then Becky does a bump of blow. In typical Lynch fashion, the dreamy 50’s song, “I Love How You Love Me,” plays in the background while Becky leans back in her seat bathed in white light like a heavenly glow.

Where Have All the Indians Gone?

Deputy Andy and Deputy Hawk are pouring over Laura Palmer’s case files in the conference room. Evidently, they have been doing this for quite some time now.

Donut boxes are strewn around on the table along with files. Andy bemoans the fact that he hasn’t found any Indians. Hawk tells him he hasn’t found any Indians either.

Dr. Amp’s Golden Shovels

Doctor Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) is getting ready to go viral on his latest vlog. He goes by the name Dr. Amp. Nadine Hurley (Wendy Robie) is one of the riveted viewers.

Dr. Amp is shouting about how we are sinking in the mud and that there is a corporate conspiracy that you can’t see without a cosmic flashlight. The epic rant continues spilling into toxins all over the place, numerous side effects such as cardiac arrest and body image bullshit.

In a divine spark of weirdness, Jacoby strikes one of his golden shovels with a hammer. This is a signal to start talking about using the tool to get out of the shit for just $29.99.

The X Files

Colonel Davis (Ernie Hudson) is being debriefed by his aide about fingerprints that were found in Buckhorn, South Dakota. They are a match for Garland Briggs. Davis thinks about this for a moment.

Then he tells his aide, Cindy, that she will have to fly to South Dakota to investigate. If they turn out to be legitimate which assures her they won’t be, she will have to alert the FBI.

Big Trouble at the Bang Bang

Sitting in the booth smoking and drinking is a grand scion of Twin Peaks. We are introduced to Richard Horne. This cat looks like one bad hombre. The manager of the bar asks him to quit smoking. He fires back with “make me.”

The bouncer wanders over and tells his boss that he will take care of it. Richard then proceeds to bribe him with money tucked into a pack of Morley cigarettes. A girl from a nearby booth asks if she can borrow a light.

Richard seizes the opportunity to have her come over to his booth. She makes the mistake of sitting down beside him. He starts accosting her and becoming rather brutish.