Twin Peaks – The Return: Gotta light for the woodsman?

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Twin Peaks – The Return is the most anticipated television event of 2017. Of course, being a huge admirer of David Lynch’s work, I jumped at the chance to cover this series for 1428 Elm. So, meet me at the Double R every week for a slice of pie and a damn fine cup of coffee.

At first when this episode started, I heard a distinct noise. It sounded like the static that you hear if you can’t get radio reception in a remote area. Of course, I thought something was wrong with my television set. As it turns out, it wasn’t a problem, it was part of the show. I was merely getting transported into another space. Come and join me.

Road to Nowhere

Kyle MacLachlan in a still from Twin Peaks. Photo: Suzanne Tenner/SHOWTIME

Evil Coop and Ray Monroe (George Griffith) are driving at night. It’s good to be out of prison! Apparently, their car is fit with a tracking system. Upon noticing this, Evil Coop tells Ray to “get behind the truck” that is in front of them.

He proceeds to punch in random letters and numbers which I am going to assume were the truck’s license plate on a phone. This action might possibly confuse the tracking system. Once he pushes send, he chucks the phone out of the window.

Ray tells Evil Coop that he hopes he isn’t angry with him. With the calmness of a predator eyeing his prey, Evil Coop responds with, “You have something I want.” Ray proceeds to tell him that he has the numbers memorized and that he thinks that it will be worth lots of dollars to Evil Coop.

Wanting to leave the highway behind, Evil Coop instructs Ray to take a detour onto a deserted road. For a couple of miles, there is nothing but headlights and endless twists and turns. Finally, Ray tells Evil Coop he is going to pull over to take a leak. While Roy is busy, Evil Coop is also busy grabbing his “friend” or gun from the glove box.

Approaching Ray, Evil Coop tells him that he really wants that info. While Evil Coop draws his weapon, Ray is also pulling his own gun out. He wheels around. Evil Coop attempts to shoot him but there are no bullets because Ray has removed them. Instead, Ray shoots Evil Coop.

What happens next is pure Lynch and very disturbing. When Evil Coop falls to the ground, we see these maniacal shadow “woodsmen” appear from behind trees. While Ray watches in horror, they gather around Evil Coop’s fallen body and start to pull him apart. Smearing blood all over Evil Coop’s chest and face, BOB appears out of Evil Coop’s body and smiles malevolently at Ray.

Spooked, Ray gets up and high tails it over to his car. He speeds away. While he is driving as fast as he can, he phones Phillip. Could this be Phillip Jeffries? For those of you that haven’t seen “Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me” Jeffries was an FBI agent that graduated with Gordon Cole. He was missing for several years before resurfacing in 1989.

Ray tells Jeffries that Evil Coop is dead but he found help. He said he saw something which may be the key to solving this thing. What he was referring to was seeing BOB.