Happy Birthday To Me: The best horror treats to watch on your birthday

In the spirit of giving since it’s so close to Christmas, I have concocted a few birthday tales to share with you all, in celebration of my special day. Enjoy.

‘Happy Birthday to Me’ — Courtesy of Columbia Pictures

Birthdays come once a year, so don’t let the title fool you. I am being completely selfish as my own swiftly approaches.

Bloody Birthday Bashes

What is it with little kids in horror films, are they inherently creepy and conniving or is it just good acting? Truth is, kids are evil, to each other and can be more so to adults. In Bloody Birthday, three of the sweetest young tikes were born on the same day, during a lunar eclipse and turn out to be one towns worst nightmare. A series of unfathomable murders are taking place, leading up to Debby, Curtis and Steven’s tenth birthday.

As a show of thanks to the good town and it’s residents, anyone the children don’t like, anybody telling them they can’t do something or even just getting too close to the truth, gets uninvited to the party in the worst kind of way.

Let’s just say that their murderous outbursts are sort of a “temper tantrum”, gone wrong. This film is well worth a watch and if it doesn’t make you look at little Billy differently afterward, then you are way too trusting and about to be placed on the

Blowing Out The Bloody Candles

My next treat is Happy Birthday to Me. No, I’m not singing to myself, it’s the title of the next movie. Little Virginia is having a birthday party and all the kids from the well to do families have been invited to attend. None of them or their parents showed up nor sent any presents in their absence. Saddened, Virginia cries anguishly over her friends not coming to celebrate with her.

Many years later, Virginia returns home and all appears to be well and good, until the eve of her eighteenth birthday when her friends begin disappearing (dying) without a trace. Only on the night of her party, all her friends are gathered around the table as though nothing has ever happened.

An unbelievable twist will put you on the edge of your seat and have you eerily singing

happy birthday to me,

as they haul you away in a pretty white straitjacket,

lovely as can be.

Stitches Are Present

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Anybody suffering from coulrophobia may want to skip this next one because it is a killer. 

Tommy is celebrating his eleventh birthday, he and his friends are eagerly anticipating the arrival of the special entertainment. Richard Grindle is in no rush to get to Tommy’s birthday. After a late arrival and a rude introduction, he gets into character. As far as I could tell, Stitches is a clown who doesn’t like his profession and abhors children even more.

Remember when I said, “little kids were evil?” One of the kids manages to tie the entertainers’ laces together, causing him to have the most deadly of accidents. Traumatized and many years later now in his late teens, Tommy is having another birthday party. Everyone has been invited (sort of) and there is even a surprise guest. Always remember that what goes around comes around, and this movie delivers that sentiment with blood and hilarity.