Happy Birthday To Me: The best horror treats to watch on your birthday
By David Lloyd
‘Happy Death Day’ — Courtesy of Blumhouse Productions
Today You Die
My next treat is Happy Death Day, where Theresa awakens in a strange bed after a night of booze and club hoppin’. Ignoring the guy whose bed she was in, she gets dressed and makes her way back to the sorority of backbiting and hatemongering group she calls sisters.
Later that evening on her way to her party, she runs into someone she thinks is trying to follow or scare her. Defiant, she stands up to her assailant even though she’s slightly terrified. Her assailant soon gives chase. Doing what most girls do in these slasher films, she falls, giving “babyface” the opportunity to catch up and deliver a coup de grâce.
Lucky for her, time
is
on her side as she awakens from her dream in the same bed, at the same time she awoke earlier that day. Was this déjà vu or some premonition of things to come? I can’t tell you that, you’ll have to figure this one out for yourself.
Final Birthday Treats
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I have one more treat for you before I move on, but before I do I’d like to offer you guys a few honorable mentions: Clown and Alice Sweet Alice. Both are films I’ve enjoyed and are well worth the watch. I was going to mention My Soul To Take simply for the fact that it was relative to my theme, but I REALLY loathe that movie so don’t you dare watch it!
My final and tastiest of treats is Happy Birthday! What’s the worst birthday present you could think of? Mine would be for my wife to give me a tie, some undies or some nonsensical trinket I’ll never use (she hasn’t so far, but tomorrow is a new day) especially knowing that I’m a gamer and a techie, so I’m easy to shop for.
But anyway, I digress, those are my birthday fears, but one can only imagine what Brady felt when he learned that his girlfriend slept with another dude the night before, while he was out of town.
Heartbroken, he allows his best friend Tommy to talk him into going to Mexico and drowning his sorrow in fun, booze and women. They run into a trio of characters on their way, including one played by Steven Tyler. The boys meet Katie and Lucia and once they hookup the shenanigans begin. Waking up tied to the bed they soon realize that they are in trouble. Kidnapped by a local Cartel and held for ransom, Tommy is mistakenly killed thinking that he was the poor kid and Brady with the rich father.
Once the Cartel learns of the mistake, Brady’s life is in danger and he prepares to escape — hopefully with his life. But somehow every road leads him back to that dusty old motel. Brady, now in survival mode, attacks back at his captor, afterward, he soon learns an invaluable lesson, birthdays suck.
Next: Pentagon spending millions on UFO research
I hope you’ve enjoyed my birthday horror treat, tune in for my next special as I celebrate the horror days with another festive tale. Until then, Auf Wiedersehen.