Hell’s Kitty: A Claw-ful Cat-tastrophe that is just horrible


Everything has its own element and those that strive best in that purr-ticular element should remain there. This movie is one of them. I will review for you the a-paw-ling Hell’s Kitty.

*Warning: Bad Cat Puns and Some Spoilers Ahead*

I never knew Hell’s Kitty was a webisode until a few moments ago, and by my own purr-sonal account, it should have stayed that way. I litter-ally forced myself to watch this film in its entirety, it was that bad to me.

Pretty much the premise is that Nick, played by Nicholas Tana (also directed) is a single guy with not much of a love life. The lack of this love life is caused by his jealous and possibly evil cat, Angel. Every time Nick would bring home a new lady, his cat-tankerous kitty would find a way to maim, kill, or scare them away, leaving poor Nick alone once again.

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Throughout the film, Nick speaks with a psychiatrist explaining his current malady and allows the events to play out for us. Nick’s psychiatrist is truly unaware of how claw-ful (pun intended) Angel can really be. The only person to make Nick think otherwise about his pet is best friend Adam, played by Adam Rucho.

Adam’s Kramer-like character wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, it keeps his appearances fresh throughout the film. Other notable appearances included the talented Doug Jones, who could have played Angel, but instead attempted to purr-form an exorcism on her and failed. Michael Berryman plays a detective who chews on a severed finger eww, while Adrienne Barbeau makes her presence know as well. Children Of The Corn alums, John Franklin (Isaac) and Courtney Gains (Malachi) emerge in “he who walks behind the rows” fashion, still looking the same just older.

Nicks unfortunate interactions with other women continues to go south, as well as the constant nightmares he has to endure. The subtle hints thrown his way never resonate with him and the cycle continues to roll with Nick none the wiser until it is too late.

In summation, I get the idea of paying homage to some notable horror icons, but they don’t hide the stench in this litter box. If done correctly, this could have been watchable. I fear only those furr-miliar with the webisodes would actually appreciate this amalgamation film. I, on the other hand, will be purr-forming my best Pontius Pilate and washing my hands of this historically bad decision.

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But as usual, feel free to check Hell’s Kitty out for yourself and let me know what you think, don’t say I didn’t warn you though. Until next time, Auf Wiedersehen.

Scratching to see Hell’s Kitty? Hoping its doesn’t give you cat scratch fever? Let the other fat cats know what you think in the comment section below.