Creepshow 2 (1987): Ten classic quotes and why they’re so great!

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Creepshow 2 — Courtesy of Warner Bros.

5. “Creepshow is not a funny paper. And this is no toy.” — Billy

Played by a different actor, Billy (Domenick John) returns in Creepshow 2 to extol the supposed virtues of Creepshow (and presumably other horror comics). Still, we all know such magazines are trash, leading to the corruption and degradation of youth. Isn’t that why so many kids hide them from their parents? Apparently, you can also buy deadly, giant carnivorous plants from ads in their pages, which can potentially endanger human life! Does Creepshow threaten to destroy your neighborhood? Probably. That’s exactly what it’s there for, and never forget it!

(As an interesting aside, in the original Creepshow, Billy was played by Joe King, son of Stephen King — though Joe most often uses the name “Joe Hill,” so his work can stand on its own with the King name.)

6. “There’s a lesson for you kiddies. Never pick up hitch-hikers…On the hood of your car – [chuckles].” — The Creep

Voiced by Joe Silver, The Creep does a wonderful job of bringing the humor out in Creepshow 2. He is sort of the Cryptkeeper of Creepshow. While neither character has as much class as a Rode Serling narration, that’s sort of the idea. You don’t need to class these stories up.

7. “You charge by the orgasm?” — Annie Lansing

It’s an annoying expression to some, but I’ll use it here: It is what it is.

8. [Talking about the blob that’s in the water] “Maybe if it’s full like you say…it’ll go away. But if it still wants chow…” — Randy Beer

9. “That oil slick we saw was just this big sticky mess in the water and streaks and smudges. It looked like an accident. This thing doesn’t look like an accident; it looks like…it’s on purpose.”
— Randy Beer

“The Raft” features a cool, amorphous monster, in the tradition of “The Blob.” While the character of Randy Beer (Daniel Beer) doesn’t have beautiful, flowing monologues or verbal interchanges with his buddies, it’s interesting to see him try to understand the creature in their midst. What is it? Where does it come from? Is it still hungry?

Creepshow 2 – The Raft

He tries to outwit it, but it proves to be quite a challenge. In fact, this story’s monster is perhaps one of the coolest monsters in any horror anthology series, simply because it comes to dominate anything it can. It’s similar to the grass (or whatever) that consumers Jordy Verrill (Stephen King) in the first Creepshow, but it’s more directly confrontational.

10. “I’ve never seen anyone so impatient, Billy. As if your life depended on getting the first copy off the presses.” — The Creep

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Still voiced by Joe Silver and portrayed by Tom Savini, The Creep’s words demonstrate just how important trashy comic books are to some kids. And why wouldn’t they be? Youth has always wanted to rebel, against their parents, authority figures, and sometimes even their peers. For Billy, Creepshow is almost like a survival guide — maybe even a Bible. They may be part of his reason for living. Indeed, horror, science fiction and entertainment in general are rarely just mere distractions in life. They are a powerful influence on us, and if they make parents afraid of us, so much the better!

Every fresh generation that matters will say its adults, “We’re taking over, mom and dad, and you’d better be scared. Bwahahaha!” Then the parents can whine about the “young whipper-snappers” and how they’re taking everything to Hell in a hand basket (even if the crime rate is actually lower than in the past). The Creep is meant to be a creep, comic books and horror are supposed to awkward and weird, and adults are supposed to be lamer than their kids. Never forget that!

Well, those are the quotes. What do you think of them, and

Creepshow 2?

Let us know in the comments!

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