Halloween: Michael Myers and the rando hermit who loved him

It’s true. Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear fisherman hats. Luckily for us, and the plot of Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Meyers, one magnificent rando hermit was there for Michael Meyers in his time of need.

Michael Myers (George Wilbur) had a rough night.

Rachel (Ellie Cornell) plowed into him with a truck. Sheriff Meeker (Beau Starr) and his posse of doomsday preppers went all Sonny Corleone on him. Michael fell into a deep, makeshift well. And Meeker, as any good doomsday prepper would, dropped a few sticks of dynamite in to finish the job.

But, Michael dodged the blast. It opened a passage into a stream that sent him floating towards safety. A stream that cleansed him of the horrible night. A stream that ended at the doorstep of a rando hermit (Harper Roisman).

Who is Randy Herman?

I’ve always wanted to write about the life and times of the rando hermit that nurses Michael back to health in the opening minutes of Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers.

Michael Meyers-Halloween 5-Courtesy of Trancas International

Their relationship started out rocky. Michael tried to strangle him. But, he passed out before the hermit was injured.

Did the hermit run or call law enforcement? No. Our hero propped Michael up on his own cot and removed his mask. Breathing is essential.

I often asked myself if I would do the same thing. If someone broke into my home and tried to strangle me, would I let them sleep on my bed when they fainted? The answer is a powerful no.

I began to feel bad about referring to our selfless nurse as a rando hermit. I decided to name him. What sounds like rando hermit? Randy. Randy Herman!

What Makes Randy Herman Tick?

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I always thought that Randy was a powerful stock broker who worked at the Chicago Board of Trade.

Michael washes up at Randy’s doorstep in October 1988. That’s about one year after the stock market crash of 1987. When he lost his millions and saw the emotional devastation that the crash caused on his friends and loved ones, Randy simply detached from the life he knew. He found himself a stoney shack in a remote part of Chicago’s western suburbs. Randy lived off the land and whatever he could afford at the local White Hen Pantry.

Randy didn’t seem to be jaded. There wasn’t any manifesto coming from him. The only sign of slight darkness was the fact this his parakeet friend only spoke in what sounded like parakeet choking sounds. I mean. That was creepy.

But otherwise, Randy Herman was a man who wanted a simple quiet life where he could watch breathtaking sunrises and sunsets. Because he suffered insomnia. Crippling insomnia.

What Did Michael and Randy Do for a Year?

A year with someone in a catatonic state is long time. It’s difficult to consider all that one feels as time passes. There was no agenda for Michael and Randy. No achievements to be ticked off on a calendar. There was only silent friendship.

Also, I think they listened to a lot of Depeche Mode. Behind the Wheel was still a big song going into 1989. It was apropos of the situation. Randy was taking the wheel for his new friend.

Refried roadkill wasn’t going to get Michael on the mend. Plus, it’s difficult to chew when you’re catatonic. So, I’m pretty sure Randy sprung for some hearty Dinty Moore soups. Randy chewed on the pot roast bits. He siphoned the thick gravy-broth down Michael’s gullet. The parakeet ate gravel.

Michael Meyers-Halloween 5-Courtesy of Trancas International

At night, Randy would read aloud to Michael from The Collected Works of Nikolai Gogol. He took great pleasure in reading The Overcoat, which Randy believed reflected his own life experiences. Like the story, Randy was a man who worked until he was able to afford a great coat of his own. The stock market had destroyed it and robbed him of it. He would then lecture Michael on the art of letting go.

What Went Wrong?

Nothing went wrong. When Michael woke up a year later, he simply finished what he started. Had the will power of Samhain not run out the year before, he would have killed Randy immediately.

Michael Meyers-Halloween 5-Courtesy of Trancas International

Poor Randy. The look in his eyes was piercing and tragic. It was a look that said, “But you were my friend! Stop choking me! It hurts!”

The parakeet inherited the stash of Dinty Moore.

Why Do We Care?

A little part of us all died with Randy.

Sure. You’ve been reading this for longer than Randy’s scenes took in the movie. His whole existence flashed before our eyes. For real. The whole year was written off by the flash of a title card. And, Halloween 5 was kind of a snuff film.

But we’re all a little like Randy. Sometimes we need to detach from things in order to see the bigger picture. We need to take the time to enjoy the beauty in everything. We need to recognize that we never know what other people are going through. And that’s important if you happen to keep a mute cold blooded killer in your house for a year. It’s like, really important.

Have you ever thought about the hermit in Halloween 5 before? Will you think about him now? Let’s discuss in the comments!