Joe Bob Briggs: Now available on blood red dead wax

The theme song for The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs is now available on record. Yup. You read that correctly. This is one of the coolest collectibles of the year and we’ve got the details for you.

The essence of Joe Bob Briggs should be selected for preservation in the U.S. National Film Registry of the Library of Congress and deemed culturally significant for his dedication to drive-in movies.

But that could get kind of bloody. And it might do some permanent damage to Joe Bob.

If you have a thirst for something being pressed flat enough to fit in a library, Ship to Shore PhonoCo. has you covered. They’re offering a limited edition 45 RPM record that includes two versions of The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs theme song, Joe Bob Is Back In Town, by John Brennan & The Bigfeet.

On the A-side is the original version of the song as it played over the opening credits of last July’s marathon on Shudder. The B-side is the acoustic version that played over the closing credits of the same marathon.

The record sleeve includes artwork from The Last Drive-In official tee-shirt that’s still available on Fright Rags. The record itself is blood red.

This must-have will set you back $12. With shipping, you’ll pay around $16. That’s not too bad for a fine looking collectible that’ll sound as alive as Sally at the end of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Act fast. This is a limited edition because there were only 500 copies pressed. As a bonus, you can add on a cassette of John Brennan’s Celebrated Standards.

What self respecting record collector wouldn’t want to own this blood red piece of magnificence? Don’t answer. I don’t want to know who those people are.

This news comes just a week before Joe Bob returns with A Very Joe Bob Christmas movie marathon on Shudder on Friday, December 21st.

The Thanksgiving night Dinners of Death movie marathon was a blast. Celebrity guests, deep-dive commentary, and the only Thanksgiving horror movie ever made. Ok. Ok.

Blood Rage was not the only Thanksgiving horror movie ever made. Man, alive! I can feel Darcy the Mail Girl’s indignant stare across the Internet.

But having someone like Joe Bob guide you through something like Blood Rage is what makes the marathons so much fun. I mean, I had never seen it before. I was missing out on Ted Raimi’s virtuoso performance as an aggressive condom salesman, the wholesome catchphrase “I don’t think that’s cranberry sauce, Artie!,” and, you know, the whole incest thing.

Joe Bob broke in almost every 15 minutes to explain exactly what had happened. Because we needed that. And that made the incest love triangle somehow even more creepy and scary.

Imagine the end of West Side Story. Except instead of Maria being devastated that Tony was murdered by some rando gang member, she shot him. And, while Tony was still her lover, he was also her son. You’re welcome.

But back to the limited edition record. You should totally buy Joe Bob is Back In Town. And you should definitely stream A Very Joe Bob Christmas next Friday on Shudder.

I’m so excited my tummy is fluttering like fizz in a bottle of over-priced probiotic, if you know what I’m talking about. And I think you do.

Are you going to buy Joe Bob is Back in Town on blood red vinyl? Will you be streaming A Very Joe Bob Christmas next week on Shudder? Let’s discuss in the comments!