Slay Belles Review: Biker Santa and full frontal Krampus junk

As Christmas creeps closer, we sit down to watch Slay Belles from Dread Central Presents and it is one of the most enjoyable holiday films this year.

I find most traditional Christmas movies boring. They all seem the same to me.

Santa, a sad protagonist who falls in love and sees the true meaning of Christmas, a mean grump who also sees the true meaning of Christmas. It’s all just so DONE. There’s one exception to the Christmas genre and that’s Christmas horror and 2018 has been amazing for it. We even did a huge holiday horror list that included a lot of new Yuletide terrors.

One movie to come out for the holidays is a Dread Central Presents film called Slay Belles. I had heard a lot of really good things about it but, of course, I had to see it for myself and I can see why people love it so much.

Image courtesy of BadJuju Productions

There have been a lot of great films that have come out of Dread Central Presents like, one of my favorites, Director’s Cut. Given that fact, I had high hopes for Slay Belles and it lived up to most of my preset expectations.

Slay Belles is directed by SpookyDan Walker and written by Walker and Jessica Luhrssen. It stars the incomparable Barry Bostwick (Rocky Horror Picture Show) as Santa, Kristina Klebe (The Devil’s Carnival, Halloween) as Alexi, Susan Slaughter (Ghost Hunters International) as Dahlia, Hannah Wagner (The Devil’s Carnival) as Sadie, Diane Salinger (Carnivale, All Hallow’s Eve) as Cherry, Stephen Ford (Teen Wolf, Sixers) as Sean and Joel Hebner (The Beast of Bray Road) as Krampus.

Three ladies, all dressed up for some holiday online urban exploring for their channel, trespass into the close theme park Santa Land to explore for their viewers and find that they aren’t alone in the park. Krampus is running amok (and the town causing indiscriminate murders) and Alexi, Dahlia and Hannah are caught in the middle of it all.

They come across an old man on the premises claiming he’s Santa and needs their help to capture Krampus until after midnight on Christmas Eve. After then, he can’t harm anyone. As expected, Krampus isn’t going to go down without a fight.

Photo by Tammy Sutton

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At first, I wasn’t sure how much I was going to like this movie. The film’s quality isn’t bad and the audio is good too. The acting won’t be winning any Oscars and the dubstep (I think?) music doesn’t really fit the film and becomes annoying after a bit but I really had fun watching this.

You know it’s a fun film when you can’t pick your favorite quote from it and that’s nearly all thanks to Barry Bostwick. His biker-esque Santa was hilarious and the movie became 10x better the moment he showed up. While the ladies are funny (Hannah is adorable), Santa made me snort with laughter.

Whether it’s his elementary retorts (“I’m not fat, you’re fat.”) or his sailor-like cursing (“Can Santa say f**k?”), Santa makes this movie. I also loved Diane Salinger and her character who hates Christmas.

The first act of this movie essentially drags, but once this motley crew of characters joins in, the party really starts and it gets silly and extremely enjoyable. There is the obligatory boob and panty shots but honestly, it’s not excessive and doesn’t try to carry the film like some horror movies do. The dialogue is funny, the characters are over the top and I can honestly say I didn’t know Krampus had a penis and I’m impressed.

While not perfect, Slay Belles is a really enjoyable ride and I will gladly take that trip every Christmas season, “Santa Claus is comin’ to town, bitches.”

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Love holiday horror? Checking out Slay Belles from Dread Central Presents? Let the other Christmas Creeps know what you think in the comment section below.

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