John Waters is an American treasure. He is known for his outlandish cult classics and he has directed some of the most well known underground and independent films. Everything from his early work like Multiple Maniacs, Pink Flamingos, and Female Trouble to his more mainstream films Cry Baby and Hairspray have always made a statement.
John Waters has a certain tie to the horror community. Besides directing Serial Mom, debatably one of the greatest horror comedies of all time, most of his films have had some sort of horrific themes to them. Be it the mass murder scene in Female Trouble, or the bloody violence in Cecil B. Demented, horror is part of why John Waters is so amazing.
The director has never been shy about his love for horror, his fondness of the genre has helped form his aesthetic. He has often said in interviews that some of his favorite horror movies are Christmas Evil, C.H.U.D. and The Tingler. Many horror fans may have even recognized him as The Reverend in the low budget splatter fest, Blood Feast 2: All U Can Eat.
Or they might have noticed his cameo as the sleazy tabloid reporter Pete Peters in Seed of Chucky. He has even portrayed one of his cinematic heroes, director William Castle in the FX series Feud.
Similar to Where’s Waldo, you never know where John Waters is going to show up next. Most recently he’s played himself as a first class passenger in Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip.
It’s hard to believe, but Alvin actually mentions Pink Flamingos, which is one of the most disgusting, offensive, and mind blowing movies ever made. How did John land such a bizarre cameo? By flippantly mentioning in an interview how he’d like a role in a Chipmunks movie.
If you are following the pattern here, you’ll notice John says he wants something, and it happens. Multiple times Mr. Waters has referred to the Final Destination franchise as modern exploitation movies.
He has even said that he would like to be featured in the next one which could actually happen because New Line Cinema is rebooting the film series. That got me thinking. Who would John Waters play in a Final Destination movie?
John Waters -Final Destination – Courtesy of New Line Cinema, Zide-Perry Productions, Hard Eight Pictures
We all know the basic concept of these films. A horrible tragedy occurs, there is lots of gore and blood, one person survives, but then everyone around them gets hunted down by fate, because you can’t outrun it.
What if instead of an unseen force, John Waters plays fate itself? It would be a totally campy take on a franchise that is more or less serious, but hear me out.
John Waters – Bela Lugosi – Courtesy of Screen Classics (II)
Instead of just a cameo in the film, what if the plot revolved around John Waters setting off Rube Goldberg machine style traps to kill off his victims? Just as the Child’s Play franchise took a turn for high camp with the Bride of Chucky entry, this could be Final Destination’s chance to rebrand itself as a more fun film series.
Think of the king of filth playing the hands of fate with his Cheshire cat grin and pencil thin mustache. Looking just like the character he portrayed in the Saturday Night Live sketch “The Creep”. It would be amazing!
John Waters – The Creep – Courtesy of NBC
If not playing the embodiment of the hands of fate, then what if John Waters narrates the film? Just as Bela Lugosi played the Scientist narrator in the Ed Wood classic Glen or Glenda, John Waters could take on a similar role in a Final Destination film.
The movie would become an instant classic with over the top dialogue. There is also the fact that John Waters has already played a narrator in the CourtTV series’ ’Til Death Do Us Part. This outing was short lived and dealt with true crime tales of newlyweds who murdered each other.
His character on the show was called “The Groom Reaper”. John was supposed to be reminiscent of The Crypt Keeper from the classic television series Tales from the Crypt. It would be perfect casting and would help to kick off the new Final Destination franchise.
Whatever role John Waters would get in a Final Destination film, it’s sure to be an impactful one. There would be no better marriage in the cinematic universe than the king of filth, Mr. John Waters and the blood, gore, and exploitation of Final Destination. This must happen!
Are you a fan of John Waters? Would you like to see him in the reboot of Final Destination? Let us know in the section below.