Dana DeLorenzo: Top five roles she was born to play

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Dana DeLorenzo-Columbo-Courtesy of NBC Universal

5. Dana DeLorenzo as Columbo

Peter Falk won two Emmys playing Lieutenant Frank Columbo. It’s a role he owned for almost five decades. Columbo assumed a gosh-golly persona, but he was always prodding suspects towards incriminating themselves.

It’s unclear if Columbo and Mrs. Columbo ever had kids. In the 1992 episode “No Time to Die,” we met Columbo’s nephew Andy. Maybe he had a kid. In a revival, Dana would be perfectly cast as LAPD detective Francine Columbo. Much like her granduncle, Francine would ditch her first name in favor of just being called Columbo.

Columbo would be unable to properly think without wearing her trusty jean jacket. She’d convince suspects she’s a simple millennial more interested in Whole Foods and improv than solving crimes. Meanwhile, she’s trapping the suspect with their every word.

Picture her in this scene: Columbo asks a suspect about this new fangled bitcoin business they ran with their dead partner.  Just like Falk, DeLorenzo would scratch and mess up her thick hair. She’d pivot into asking the suspect about the sad state of their own finances.

There would be a classic, smug blow off by the suspect. Columbo would start to walk away. Then, she turns around and says, “Oh. Um. One more thing! If your partner were to die, you would receive all of their shares in the company stock, correct? I’m not trying to insinuate anything. I’m just tying up loose ends.” This. Would. Rule.