False Positive doesn’t trust its audience and fails to deliver on its premise

On Friday, Hulu released Rosemary’s Baby wannabe horror film False Positive by A24, starring Justin Theroux, Ilana Glazer, Pierce Brosnan, and Sophia Bush. And if you’ve ever wanted to watch Pierce Brosnan repeatedly slather speculums with lube in as creepy a manner as possible (although, to be fair, I’m not sure there is a way to do that without being creepy), then this is the film for you.

Successful Manhattan couple Lucy (Glazer) and Adrian (Theroux) have been trying and failing to get pregnant for a long time. Reaching a point of desperation, Lucy finally agrees to visit the acclaimed Dr. Hindle (Brosnan), a leader in women’s healthcare and a longtime friend and colleague of Adrian’s.

But while Dr. Hindle finally assists the couple conceive via IVF, it appears he also does something far more sinister to Lucy’s body. Refusing to believe that his friend could do something so awful, Lucy must try to figure out the truth behind Dr. Hindle’s charming veneer on her own.

False Positive puts zero trust in its audience.

One of my biggest storytelling pet peeves is when writers don’t trust their audiences enough to understand what’s going on without spelling it out for them in painstaking detail. In novels, this usually leads to overwriting, and the dreaded “show don’t tell” criticism. In False Positive, we get an actual lecture in the middle of the movie about how men have taken over the birth control industry and have more say-so in women’s bodies and reproductive rights than women do.

The film wants to address misogyny and how women, especially pregnant women, are still very much at the whims of men. But the writers don’t trust the audience enough to understand that, so they hammer the point home with an obnoxious sermon complete with visual aids and more really on-the-nose speeches and visuals (her husband watches violent porn within the first 15 minutes of the film, and it’s never addressed, that sort of thing).

Another strange addition to the film was Grace Singleton, a Black midwife who falls into many of the worst tropes film use to depict Black women on-screen. Here we have another Black woman used to solve all of the white woman’s problems. She even tells Grace, “I am not your Magical Negress,” pointing to the overused trope.

The problem is, that is more or less how Grace’s character functions and her character is used too sparingly with just that one throwaway line to address the racial connotations. It’s not exactly nuanced. And it’s interesting, too, because if False Positive wants to investigate the misogyny and discrimination women face in the gynecological world, then it feels like a missed opportunity to address the racial disparities in the way Black women are disproportionately treated when it comes to maternal health.

But the script isn’t built to handle a discussion like that, so the way Grace’s character is used seemed a little egregious (especially since she’s the one who delivers that weird mid-movie speech).

And speaking of the script, oh boy, the script. I wonder if the script has it written that everyone should linger and stare at each other as ominously as possible without actually doing anything. If this movie had less blood and artsy cinematography, it could easily have been a Lifetime movie. It’s never a good sign when your villain decides to monologue about their intentions.

False Positive doesn’t know what kind of movie it wants to be until it’s too late.

What is particularly frustrating about False Positive is there are glimmers of a much stronger film beneath the surface. The ending came very close to camp (“I trained myself not to have a gag reflex!”), and had the entire film maintained that tone, then maybe it would have been far more interesting. As it stands, nothing really happens in the film to warrant all of the tension and suspense.

Yes, Lucy experiences something horrible, but most of the movie is her acting on her gut instinct. There’s something to be said about women’s intuition and the fact she should have more say in what her body is telling her, but the film fails to depict that in a meaningful way. Film is a visual medium, and instead of using interesting visuals (which the filmmakers are capable of, but only use sparingly), we just get a lot of Lucy looking uncomfortable.

As for the actual horror elements and the twists, there are no legitimate surprises. The story will play out exactly how you think it’s going to. The people you don’t trust are untrustworthy, and the film plays too much into “is this real or in Lucy’s head” to be enjoyable instead of just frustrating.

Still, False Positive is watchable. I never felt like turning the movie off, if only because Ilana Glazer does her best to give a strong dramatic performance. For an actress who is better known for her comedy chops, she is compelling in this film, with most of the scenes hinging on her facial expressions and reactions. There were times I felt like I could see her thinking of what to do next, but more often than not, she did captivate me.

The rest of the actors don’t have many subtleties to build into their roles as they’re more or less playing stock villains or caricatures.

Overall, False Positive can’t figure out what kind of film it most wants to be, and by the time it makes a decision, you’ve just spent over an hour languishing in a tepid, unsophisticated middle.

False Positive is now streaming on Hulu.