‘Friday the 13th’: What Would Jason Do For His Mama on Mother’s Day?
By Joey Click
Today is Mother’s day. Everyone is celebrating, even . So, what would Jason Voorhees do for Pamela on her big day?
Ahhhh maternal loves is in the air. Today we celebrate mothers everywhere. They raise us. They care for us. And they love us. Only, some “love” too much and raise children who become sadistic serial killers.
With today being Mother’s Day,1428’s wondering what kind of gifts and pleasantries Jason might do for his mother had she not died by Crystal Lake back in 1980? Afterall, only a few instances in cinema show a child’s love of their mother as strongly as the bond between Mrs. Voorhees and her baby boy Jason.
If you need to a refresher course on just how much momma Voorhees and her mongoloid man-child love each other, have no fear. Here’s every kill Pamela Voorhees commits as payback for those sex-crazed, drug-induced, kids killing her baby boy. Remember, as she says, “He wasn’t a very good swimmer.”
In a fit of revenge for the murder of his mother by the hands of the ever-resilient Alice, here’s every kill in Jason’s epic path in making those pesky counselors pay:
Now that you’ve seen just how sadistically close the Voorhees’ mother and son truly are, what would Jason exactly do for his lovely Mother on Mother’s Day, the one day a year you’re especially supposed to honor the amazing woman that gave you life? I think goes something like this.
JASON SHOWS HIS LOVE AND GRATITUDE
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First, Jason gets his manic mother some flowers. Taking his trusty machete, covered in the blood of his innocent victims, he goes to the many possible places in and around Crystal Lake to cut some beautiful flowers for his mother, showing her just how beautiful she is.
After, he needs to provide her some delicious food. Knowing that his mother is no stranger to good cuisine (she was once the cook of Camp Crystal Lake), he makes his way to the finest diner in town. After brutally murdering the staff just after they’ve prepared a scrumptious meal, he takes the food back to his home, a rundown shack of a dwelling to others, and sets the table.
Then, a few minutes before his mother’s due to arrive, he sets up bodies around the house. Much like one of the many Friday the 13th heroines, but in a sadistic twist, Jason shows his mother all the people he’s killing in her memory. Only the best for Mama Voorhees and simply flowers won’t due. This is Jason’s biggest gift.
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After eating, Mrs. Voorhees admiring her son’s handy work, the two kill a few people around Crystal Lake together. The original camp killer maybe gives her son some pointers, or better yet, Jason shows her a thing of two. He does, of course, have more experience killing the helpless. Either way, it’s a bonding experience for the two.
It’s important to bond with your mothers Horror Heads. I hope you spend today showing them just how special they are. From the sadistic sons and the deranged daughters of the horror community, Happy Mother’s Day. We love every single one of you.