Twin Peaks – The Return: Gotta light for the woodsman?

4 of 5

Robert Broski in a still from Twin Peaks. Photo: Suzanne Tenner/SHOWTIME

Birth of a Demon

It is August 5, 1956 in the New Mexico desert. An egg is lying in the sand. From the egg, a large mutant bug with wings and a frog like body crawls away from its home.

Could this be the “birth” of BOB? Almost as if it is announcing the coming of evil, clouds surround the moon and the screen goes pitch black.

The Desert Comes Alive at Night

A boy and a girl on a date are walking past a gas station. The girl finds a penny on the ground heads up. She remarks to the boy at how it means good luck. He replies that he hopes it does bring her good luck.

In the middle of the desert, a shadow figure descends from the sky. It hits the ground and starts walking. Meanwhile on a highway, a couple is driving along when the shadow woodsmen start populating the stretch of road. They stop abruptly so they don’t hurt them.

One of the figures approaches their car and keeps repeating, “Gotta light?” This is unnerving and then several of the woodsmen appear around the car. Startled, the man guns the engine and he and his wife speed down the road away from the dark chaos.

The boy has delivered the girl safely to her house. He shyly asks if he can kiss her. The girl demurs at first and then she relents allowing the boy to quickly peck her on the lips. Saying goodbye, she turns around and enters her house.

This Is the Water and This Is the Well

The shadow figure is walking down a path when he spies a radio station. KPJK is playing a classic 50s song from Dion and the Belmonts, “No One Knows.” Everyone from the waitress at Pop’s Diner, to the mechanic fixing his car to the teenage girl sitting in her bedroom is listening to the song.

Meanwhile at the station, the shadow woodsman (Robert Broski) proceeds to ask the receptionist, “Gotta light?” Frozen in fear, she is a sitting duck. The woodsman places his hand on top of her head and crushes her skull like a walnut. Bloody pulp oozes down her forehead.

After he annihilates her, he enters the production studio. The DJ is on the air but this doesn’t stop him. Placing his hand on top of the DJ’s skull, he forces the DJ to his knees while he commandeers the microphone.

The music stops abruptly and the waitress, the mechanic and the girl in her bedroom look at their radios. Grabbing the mic, the woodsman starts reciting a crazy poem.

More from Horror on TV

“This is the water and this is the well. Drink full at this end. The horse is the white of the eyes and dark within.” He keeps repeating this over and over while maintaining his death like grip on the DJ’s skull.

The waitress at Pop’s Diner keels over. The mechanic working on his car passes out. The girl in her bedroom lies down on her bed and proceeds to slumber.

Crawling across the desert landscape is the huge bug. It gets close to the girl’s house and leaps into the window. Meandering toward her open mouth, it climbs inside.

Finally, the woodsman punches a hole in the DJ’s skull. Brain matter falls to the floor with a sickening splat. The woodsman leaves the station and goes into the night. Braying horses are heard in the distance. Is this a harbinger of evil to come like the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?