I Survived Slash-O-Rama and Lived To Tell the Tale
By Aaron Posey
Last night the sleepy city of Columbus, Ohio was invaded by Slash-O-Rama and 1428 Elm was there. A 12 hour film festival celebrating the 1980’s horror slasher films we love, when I saw the advertisement I just knew I had to go.
From 10:00 pm to 10:00 am the next morning, myself and fellow slasher lovers crowded into a movie theater and were treated to A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Slumber Party Massacre, Silent Night, Deadly Night, Trick or Treat and My Bloody Valentine on the big screen.
When my friend and I arrived we stood outside the Drexel theater waiting anxiously to go in. The crowd was abuzz with excitement as we wanted to get this party started. Once inside we staked out the perfect seats and took up our positions for the next 12 hours.
We watched in awe as our favorite monsters slashed their way across the silver screen. In between films we were treated to a mixture of horror trailers spanning 1980 to 1989. Some trailer blocks lasted 30 to 45 minutes which became a little cumbersome. Some of the trailers were shown twice, during that time this meme sums up my feelings perfectly:
via Columbia Pictures
I walked away from this experience with a lot of life lessons that I feel our dear readers should know. I endured this 12 hour Slash-O-Rama and want to impart my new-found knowledge on the world.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) taught me that a sound effects tape can work wonders on your mother, cops take the night shift for peace and quiet, and a person can be pulled through a tiny window on a door.
via New Line Cinema
The Slumber Party Massacre (1982) taught me that women in the 1980’s never wore bras, power drills are more dangerous than I ever knew and never trust a guy in a jean jacket.
New World Pictures
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) was a real eye opener. I feel like this film gave me a grasp on stuff I never knew but should have, such as everything in Utah is conveniently labeled, Santa Claus punishes those that are “naughty” and being a Santa at an orphanage is the most hazardous job in the world.
TriStar Pictures
Trick or Treat (1986) is chock full of life lessons. I learned that 1980’s metal is still awesome, don’t go to a concert by singer Sammi Curr because you will probably die and don’t listen to tapes that are not labeled.
De Laurentiis Entertainment Group
The last film of the night, or should I say day because it was 8:00 am by then, My Bloody Valentine (1981) taught me that miners have way more fun at work than me, a body can be put into a dryer and gas masks are more sinister than I realized.
Paramount Pictures
Next: Bruce Campbell explains how to get Ash vs. Evil Dead Season 4
At the end of the 12 hours we were all exhausted, the sunlight hurt our eyes and the theater smelled like old bus seats but we did it. We sat in a movie theater for literally half a day and watched horror movies and trailers the whole time. If that doesn’t sound awesome to you, I don’t know what does and I cannot wait to do it again next year.