Harry Potter And The Chin: Ash at Hogwarts Continues in Chapter 3


You asked for it Deadites of Elm Street so here it is, more of Ash’s misadventures at Hogwarts School For Witchcraft and Wizardry

If you’re new to the world of “Harry Potter and The Chin”, catch up with the magically macabre Chapter 1 and 2.

Chapter 3:

What Is A Deadite

Harry awoke the next morning. A house elf had brought his breakfast while he slept. He reaches over to the bedside table for his glasses and puts them on before stretching and getting out of bed to get dressed. After yesterday, Harry knew watching this Ash character would take more than one person to do it correctly.

After breakfast, Harry borrows one of the school’s owls to send Ron a letter. The two have always worked well together. Even in recent years with the Aurors, they have apprehended the most dark wizards and artifacts.

Harry gets dressed and goes down to meet Ron in the Great Hall. He isn’t really surprised to see Hermione came as well. After all, she never could resist the chance to discover a new book.

After a brief rundown of the previous day, Hermione asks dubiously “The Necronomicon? Are you sure that’s what he called it? I’ve been through every book in Hogwarts, even the restricted section, and it’s not there.”

Harry nods with an exasperated sigh. “Yes, I’m sure Hermione. He said it translates to The Book Of The Dead.”

“Merlin’s beard! We better keep an eye on it then shouldn’t we?” Ron states as they walk from the Great Hall to the Quidditch pitch. Ash stands in front of the class tapping the Necronomicon on his thigh. The table behind him is once again piled high with long rectangular boxes with the word Remington on them. He clears his throat before speaking.

“Alright, my magical minions. Before we move on a little more about this book.” He holds the book in the air. “No one really knows where it comes from. It was first written about by a man named Howard Phillips Lovecraft in 1924. So everyone thought it was fiction. I first came into contact with it in 1981.”

Ash lays the book on the table and walks over to the table. He puts his hands on the table, and rolls his eyes as he sees Harry, Ron, and Hermione. “Now say something happens that makes you lose your little sticks in the heat of battle. Well there is something much easier you can use. I guarantee it will work faster than any incantation you can mutter.” Ash reaches into one of the long rectangular boxes retrieving a long object made of iron and wood holding it in the air for all to see he intones.

— Courtesy of Universal Pictures

“THIS is my BOOM stick! The 12 gauge double barrel Remington. It is the top of the line at S-Mart. Shop Smart, shop S-Mart. Now if I may direct your attention to that over-sized bubble blowing wand in the middle there.”

Kelly and Pablo stand on either side of something tied to the middle Quidditch goal post. Tied to the post something is wriggling under a white tarp. Ash walks over and rips off the sheet to reveal a human. Well at least it looks human. If said human were dead but yet alive. It has yellow eyes and rotting gray flesh that is starting to peel.

Hermione gasps “Harry, the crazy muggle has an Inferius, and a gun! We can’t let him just have one of those things around the children. It’s more dangerous than anything Hagrid ever subjected us to.”

Ash then actually takes more notice of Hermione. He gives her an appraising look. “Well, sweet cheeks I don’t know what an Inferius is but maybe you can tutor me in my office later. This is a Deadite. There’s only one way to deal with a Deadite.” He motions toward Harry with a smirk. “Hey, four eyes come here and give me a hand.” Harry reluctantly walks over to Ash already reaching in his pocket. “Okay, now careful with the stick I don’t want to have to wear glasses like you. What I want you to do is cast one of your offensive spells against the Deadite.

Harry nods grudgingly, levels his wand toward the Deadite and begins to shout “Incendio!” but before he gets to the second syllable there is an earth shaking BOOM and the Deadite’s head explodes in a torrent of blood and rotting brain tissue.

“As you can see, actions speak louder than words.”

The class makes their way back toward the table.” Now I’m going to give each one of you a boom stick, and you’re going to practice on those pumpkins.” He points toward Hagrid’s near by pumpkin patch.

“Absolutely not!” Hermione shrieks. “If you think for one second I’m going to stand by and watch as you put these children’s lives in danger” Before Hermione can finish her daughter Rose interjects “Mum, Uncle Harry, Da, Professor Williams? The Necronomicon is gone…”

 To be continued…..

Love Harry Potter and/or the world of ‘Evil Dead’? Let the other Deadites know what you think in the comment section below.