Christmas the 25th: What would Jason Voorhees want from Santa?
By Jeremy Dick
We all know what Jason likes to do when it’s Friday the 13th, but what would he want on the 25th of December? Maybe he’d ask for these things from Santa.
Surely, even Jason Voorhees has a special place in his heart for Christmas. His mother Pamela made such a big deal over his birthday, she no doubt made the holiday season very special for her baby boy as well.
With this in mind, I’m thinking Jason’s wish list for Christmas would look something like this…
A Brand New Hockey Mask
via Killer Hocks – Facebook
Spending too much time underwater can be hell on your accessories. Eventually, it can all but totally degrade Jason’s trademark hockey mask. After a certain point he’s going to need a new one. Knowing how much he loves his mask, it seems obvious that this would be the very first thing on his list.
No matter which film’s version of the mask Jason might want, Santa can order him a high-quality custom replica of any of them at F13KillerHocks.com.
A Sharp, New Machete
via New Line
Let’s get the other obvious one out of the way next. Jason Voorhees is a man who loves his machete, no doubt. But after dicing up so many teenagers over the years, the weapon will suffer some wear and tear — and, ultimately, wind up less effective. If he’s feeling a bit narcissistic, Jason could even ask one one signed by Kane Hodder.
A Tommy Jarvis Dartboard
via Paramount
There is perhaps no bigger thorn in the side of Jason Voorhees than his arch-nemesis, Tommy Jarvis. Until the next eventual encounter between the two happens once again, Jason can train for the occasion with a Tommy Jarvis dartboard! No, there is no licensed dartboard with Tommy’s face on it, but Santa could always have one made at PhotoDarts.com.
A Friday the 13th Christmas Sweater
via Mondo
Camp Crystal Lake is a great place to visit during the summer, but it can get cold during the winter months. A brand knew knit sweater might just be the thing Jason Voorhees needs to stay warm. For our boy in the hockey mask, the perfect sweater would be Middle of Beyond’s Friday the 13th sweater, available now from Mondo.
An I Love New York Tee
via Paramount
Jason doesn’t get to go on vacation much, but he’ll never forget his trip to New York. But, wouldn’t you know it, he was destroyed in the sewer before he could stop at the souvenir stand. Maybe St. Nick can help Jason remember his time away from home with one of those spiffy ‘I Heart New York’ tees — and they’re super cheap at Amazon.
Next: Are Zombieland and Ash vs Evil Dead horror twins?
So, what other kinds of gifts do you think Jason Voorhees would enjoy receiving on Christmas morning? I want to see some other ideas, so join in on this discussion in the comments section below!
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