The ‘Resident Evil’ Movies are Trash: An Angry Editorial
By Devin Shea
All of the Resident Evil live action movies are steaming garbage and I explain why, in more detail than you really need.
The Resident Evil live action movies are trash.
There…I said it. And no take backsies either. As someone who holds the Resident Evil game franchise close to their heart, these live action movies are an abomination. Keep in mind, I stress live action because none of this hatred is for any of the animated movies like Resident Evil: Vendetta, which was awesome. No, this is me being a Negative Nancy about the eyesores that are the live action, Milla Jovovich, Paul W.S. “Never Played a Capcom Game in his Life” Anderson Resident Evil movies.
When the first movie came out, I was so damn excited. A movie based on my favorite game?!?! I get to finally see the mansion, the hunters, and Tyrant in live action. It was an exciting time to be alive….until the movie came out. Okay, yes there was a mansion and zombies and WHAT THE HELL IS THIS GARBAGE??? The lead wasn’t even Jill Valentine, is was a stranger named Alice. There was no Barry, no Wesker, no Chris, not even a single damn hunter. There was no Yawn or giant spiders; I had never felt more cheated in my young life. And then it got worse.
Image courtesy of Constantin Films and Screen Gems
When the second movie, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, came out, it’s like they were TRYING to kind of give a shout out to the games. There was Jill in her Resident Evil 2 outfit. There was the badly cast (even though I love Oded Fehr) Carlos and Nicholai. There was Nemesis (ok…fine, he looked awesome but the story behind him was crap), lickers and it all took place in Raccoon City and that’s where the similarities end. Umbrella was involved and it all centered around the now super-human Alice, *sigh*.
Image courtesy of Constantin Film and Screen Gems
Resident Evil: Extinction introduced even more crappy representations of our beloved characters. While I’m sure it isn’t Ali Larter’s fault, the character of Claire in the movies was reprehensible. Claire was one of the biggest bad asses in the game series, holding on her own in the police station, killing it in Code Veronica and kicking it with Moira in Revelations 2. Claire in the movies was not nearly as strong and made me side eye her so much, my eyes nearly got stuck in that position. And then there was Wesker. How DARE they besmirch the holy name of Albert Wesker. I suppose they could have done worse, but my GAWD they could have done better.
There was Resident Evil: Afterlife but what-even-ever. They recast Albert Wesker and he was at least cockier and more Wesker-y and they included a RE5 infected Jill, for some reason, but this movie is trash…NEXT!
Image courtesy of Constantin Film and Screen Gems
Resident Evil: Retribution; this is the one that pisses me off the most. This was like a reunion for our favorite game characters to cameo in this s*^$ show of a story and HOOOOLY CRAP it was bad. Barry Burton was too young looking, Leon Kennedy was a travesty (instead of being the tough character we knew from RE4, he was a contestant from a Keith Urban look-alike contest), and Chris was infuriating. At the very least, they got Ada Wong’s outfit right. And to think Capcom was involved in this *shivers*.
Image courtesy of Capcom
Tyrant showed up in later movies, an Executioner Manjini attacked Claire in a shower and none of it makes any sense. To be honest, I haven’t even seen the last movie. I just can’t. I’ve been trying since 2002, hoping these movies would get better and they just get more convoluted and farther from the reason that the Resident Evil franchise was so great.
Shame on you Paul W.S. Anderson for what you have done to our beloved gaming franchise. These movies are the reason no one takes movies based on games seriously. Hopefully James Wan can remake these movies and make them into something that gamers can be proud of. In the meantime, definitely check out the animated Resident Evil movies. They are true to the games, intense and the characters are true to the canon.
Next: I Unapologetically Love 'Resident Evil 5'
Do you agree that the Resident Evil films are complete crap? Or did you enjoy watching the journey of Milla Jovovich as Alice? Tell us how you feel in the comments below.