If you’ve ever sat through a movie and thought to yourself, “This has some of the worst lines I’ve ever heard”, you’re not alone.
Dialogue is usually one of the first things any cinephile or moviegoer either compliments or complains about. Not every line needs to be meaningful; it’s realistic to have characters discuss their personal lives or what they’re doing, or if they like their coffee black or with cream and sugar. However, there are lines that really take the audience out of the movie — especially in this genre. Horror movies have some of the worst lines ever written.
Not counting, “Hello?”, “Who’s there?”, “Let’s split up”, or any other line overly used in these movies, we’re taking a look at some of the worst of the worst.
1. “Welcome to Texas, Motherf*****.” — Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)
Almost immediately, Nikki proves to be an unlikable character. Shes a back-stabbing, self-centered trash bag too stupid to know the meaning of friendship. If that wasn’t bad enough, she’s given one of the worst lines — not just in the movie, but in the horror genre as a whole. The line comes when she and her friends are being chased after by Leatherface.
Not only is the delivery of the line bad, it makes no sense. She grabs a gun from the barn (of the person she’s saying it to, mind you) and says it as if she’s a Texas native herself, yet she’s not. Save the cheesy one-liners before a gunshot cliche to the action genre, please.
2. “Do your thing, cous.” — Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)
Heather decides that, even though Leatherface murdered everyone she knew, he’s all she has left and they’re blood relatives. Since they’re both being screwed over by the same people, why not team up and take them out? In doing so, she tosses the chainsaw to her cousin and proclaims the line as if though murdering someone is the same as playing the piano at a family Christmas party.
The entire scene is poorly executed, and the line doesn’t make it any better. I feel like the idea behind having the characters say these lines is to give the moment a bit of a kick. Instead, it all but ensures that something extra cheesy is about to happen.
3. “Guys, it’s okay, he just wanted his machete back.” — Jason X (2001)
Professor Lowe’s foolish self-assurance makes it all the more baffling that he’s a professor in the distant future, when people are supposed to be more evolved. Jason Voorhees enters the room, and he just stands there trying to talk to him about money and fame, as if though anything he’s learned about the killer points towards him wanting material things.
Not only is this one of the worst lines in the movie, the character foolishly says it while turning his back on Jason. He should’ve stopped and asked himself why Jason wanted his machete. Did he honestly think after knocking off a couple of people, Jason would just take his machete and sit quietly in a corner somewhere, leaving the rest of the passengers unscathed?
4. “Here comes your candy girl.” — The Purge: Election Year (2016)
Kimmy’s not the kind of character you can imagine having a level head during the rest of the year, but she’s even more unhinged during the annual purge. Out for revenge — and candy — she takes to the streets, pulling up in a gaudy ride with her friends, blaring a Miley Cyrus track. She has some of the franchise’s worst lines and, strangely, it works for her character.
The character shows up on and off, targeting the shop owner who caught her trying to steal candy early on, but neither the owner nor Kimmy seem too eager to off the other at first. It would’ve been funny if the owner through a candy bar at her, honestly.
5. “Wake up, you’re bleeding.” — A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
Robert Englund is so synonymous with the character that it’s difficult for many to go into the remake with an open mind and watch someone else play Freddy. Dialogue aside, Jackie Earle Haley wasn’t a bad choice. Not many of the lines he’s given work, but this one sticks out like a sore thumb.
I understand he’s messing with Nancy, but the way the scene ends, it feels like he actually helped her wake up. The delivery of, “you’re bleeding” especially feels forced. Maybe the actor wasn’t entirely comfortable with the material written for him, but the line is just awful.