Ash Wednesday: Bruce Campbell parodies the celebrity interview

It’s Ash Wednesday everyone. At 1428 Elm, this is the day where we celebrate all things Bruce Campbell. So I reached into the archives for this one! Here is an interview that Bruce did for TOME: Immortal Arena. He’s playing the role of the difficult celebrity magnificently and it’s fun to watch.

“My Maserati does 185. I lost my license, now I don’t drive.” – Joe Walsh

Bruce Channels Sean Penn

You know the tortured movie star types. Actors like Sean Penn who seemly like being difficult for the sake of being difficult. The ones who always go into laborious detail about how they’re suffering for their art. Well, Bruce Campbell kind of tosses all of that bullshit on its ear when he does a mock celebrity interview for Tome: Immortal Arena.

Even though it is evidently staged, the interviewer does a fabulous job of being flustered and unprepared. Campbell excels at this type of exercise because, much like Will Ferrell, he isn’t afraid to go over the top. He doesn’t mind looking ridiculous.

Here are some of the highlights:

Interviewer: What’s it like to be a famous actor?

Bruce Campbell: It’s troublesome. (This is said after he appears to be in deep thought. You know. Brooding actor guy).

Interviewer: Do you want to play video games?

BC: Not really…no. Because you know mostly when I wake up in the morning, I have stuff to do.

Interviewer: Interesting…

BC: So, I do it. Which doesn’t leave me time for not doing anything.

Interviewer: Have you done voice over work?

BC: Yes. (He says this in a semi-disgusted tone) Do I remember them? No. Because it’s just another “blah, blah, blah.”

Fake Plastic Everything

Interviewer: Your chin. Real or fake?

BC: (After appearing to be “soul searching”) It’s both. It’s a composite. They’ve taken my own stem cells and reshaped it. They meaning Hollywood.

Interviewer: That’s kind of freaky.

BC: That’s Hollywood.

Interviewer: I’ve read in US Weekly about some of the extreme things actors do to their bodies to prepare for their roles like Christian Bale. Did you do anything to prepare your body for this role?

BC: What did Christian Bale do?

Interviewer: I don’t know.

BC: I didn’t do that.

Interviewer: What do you think of Christian Bale?

BC: I don’t think of Christian Bale. (Who does? I don’t).

Talking about Christian Bale as Batman, Bruce has quite a bit to say.

BC: I think his Batman costume is hot but (Scrunching cheeks together) why does he have to (talks grumbly and deep) talk like that through his mask? I find it disturbing. It’s not engaging.

Interviewer: Have you ever met Kristen Stewart?

BC: Is she the chick from Nightfall?

Interviewer: Yeah.

BC: Is that it? Like the Nightfall series? Like gorpy, vampire, “I’m taking my shirt off again” movies?

Interviewer: Yes.

BC: No.

At this point, I have to say I am on the floor because not only does he get the series name incorrect on purpose but the entire “taking my shirt off again” is right on point. Ooo…Robert Pattinson, you’re so sparkly. UGH!

Tell Me about Your Childhood

Interviewer: Tell me about your childhood?

BC: It was dark… with moments of lightness followed by seasons of darkness (Jesus! That sounds like the title to an autobiography about my high school years) followed by seconds of joy and hours of hate.

Quick! Someone get Bruce a Patron martini or something before he delves any deeper into his psyche.

Did you know Bruce was good at improvisational comedy? Have you read Hail to the Chin? Are you a fan of Ash vs Evil Dead? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below. We want to hear from you!

Home/Horror on TV