Breakfast in Haddonfield: Bacon with a side of hate

Halloween — Courtesy of Dimension Films

4/5) Halloween (2007)

When Judith and Michael’s father died, Deborah was left to pick up the slack. That may have been how she began working as a stripper. No judgement here of course, but I will judge her for putting up with Ronnie. Not only is he abusive to her children, but he’s also horrible to her. She’s neither meek nor afraid to defend herself; so why stay with him, especially when he’s too broken up to work? understandably, this could be why Judith acts out in typical bitchy fashion. There’s about 16 F-bombs — the first of which hits merely two seconds in — and several other colorful curse words.

Aside from baby Laurie (“boo”, Angel — whatever you want to call her this week) crying, the only other sympathetic character in this scene is Deborah. The rest are loud, mean and haven’t showered since August. It’s every Walmart argument and high school screaming match you’ve ever heard or participated in and although it’s not the worst scene put on screen, it’s one of the more baffling of the Halloween movies.

One could assume the second breakfast scene in Rob Zombie’s remake is meant to juxtapose the difference between Michael’s upbringing and Laurie’s. Of course, the unrated scene and the theatrical scene have their differences, but either way, there’s still some, uh, friction. First of all, Laurie is… well, I’ll just say it: Laurie’s kind of a pig, guys. Fingering a bagel and moaning might be fun if you’re sitting at a lunch table with your friends, or maybe at Dunkin’ Donuts, but doing this in front of your parents is pretty gross, I must say.

6) Halloween 2 (2009)

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If memory serves, the unrated version is far more rough than the theatrical. Annie’s adamant about eating healthier, most likely because of her run-in with Michael in the previous film. Leigh, her father, is set in his way and prefers to grab a coffee and then stop somewhere to grab a sugary treat on his way to work. It’s decent enough, but then it becomes a stressful breakfast between friends. Annie assures Laurie that she’ll grow stronger one day at a time, to which Laurie snaps and swears every other word.

I agree with Laurie, “One day at a time” is a pretty annoying and cliched response to be given when you’re stressed out and scared and feeling rather impatient about something as significant as your mental health, but she ought to take in mind that it came from a genuine place. Annie wasn’t trying to brush her off or shut her up. This in turn puts Annie in a angry mood. Maybe if Laurie had a bagel things would’ve been a bit lighter — and I’m not talking about the cream cheese.

7) Halloween – 2018

Karen’s preparing breakfast while Ray’s setting traps to kill rodents. Enter Allyson, the strong, intelligent granddaughter of Laurie Strode. Allyson struggles with two relationships: the one she’s making with one of Haddonfield high’s many scumbags — Cameron Elam — and the broken relationship she has with her grandmother. She’s in the middle of Karen and Laurie’s tension, with Ray purposelessly being there. Karen lies, Allyson catches her, and yes, Ray gets peanut on his penis. Well, pants actually, but whatever.

The breakfast scenes aside, there’s still some other eating scenes to be looked at. In 1981’s Halloween 2, Bud and Janet carry on a conversation about about Michael and Bud’s swearing habits. In Halloween 3: Season of the Witch, Dr. Challis disappoints his two children and ex wife with work, drinking and cheap masks. Rob Zombie’s H2 has a dinner scene between Annie, Laurie and Leigh; with shots of Michael eating a dog. Annie gets embarrassed and Laurie vomits. In the latest Halloween movie, Laurie has a breakdown over an important family dinner.

You see? Breakfast is never peaceful and neither is any other meal. It’s pretty sad. A little weird, but sad. Which of the aforementioned scenes did you like least and which is the best?

Fan of the Halloween franchise? Think breakfast in Haddonfield is deliciously doomed? Let the other trick ‘r treaters know what you think in the comment section below.