It's got a death curse: Ranking all the Friday the 13th films

Some of my earliest horror memories entail watching various Friday the 13th films with my dad. On Fridays, he'd sometimes take me to the local video store, where I always zipped over to the horror section. Something about the sleeves of those Friday the 13th VHS films just appealed to me, be it the black holes of Jason's hockey mask or the potential to see some gnarly kills.

The series remains my favorite slasher franchise, even if we've been denied a proper theatrical film since 2009's remake. While the fate of Mr. Voorhees remains in limbo, this Friday the 13th, why not revisit the old films?

Here's my personal ranking of the franchise, warts and all.

12. Jason X (2001)

Sure, I know that some fans really dig this movie. It has a jacked-up space Jason who does look pretty cool in his Shredder-like mask. It's also the last time, to date, that Kane Hodder played this iconic villain. Yet, this is a cheesy movie through and through. It's no wonder that it played on the SYFY channel for so many years.

This deep into the franchise, Jason had become a joke. He, along with the no sex, no drinking, no drugs rules, are spoofed within the first 20 minutes of the film. Yet, putting him into space isn't much better. There's even a scene where he fights an android woman. That's all I want to say about this film.

11. Friday the 13th Pt. 5: A New Beginning (1985)

This is the second film in the Tommy Jarvis trilogy. This one occurs years after the events of the very stellar Friday the 13th Pt. 4: The Final Chapter. In this case, Tommy (John Shepherd) finds himself in a mental hospital, struggling to overcome the events of his childhood. He can't quite shake Jason.

Soon, the murders start. Is it Tommy, a resurrected Jason, or someone else? This film does have some interesting aspects regarding the famed final boy's trauma. The main problem with this movie, however, is that Jason isn't in it and the whole thing feels cheap because of that. The killer is a lame copycat.

10. Jason Goes to Hell (1993)

Like A New Beginning, this is another case of poor story execution. At this point, it's clear the franchise didn't know where to go. Sure, Jason Goes to Hell isn't as bad as Jason X, but well, it's just not all that great. Yes, I know it has its fans, especially recently. I admit the first 15 minutes are cool, but then, oof...

This movie has a bounty hunter. That's how wild the premise is. Oh, and people devour Jason's heart/soul after he's blown to bits by the military in the first act. They then take on his traits. This movie has a few decent kills, but I rarely revisit it.

9. Friday the 13h Pt. 8: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

Boy, did this film have a lot of potential. What would have been cooler than watching Jason hack and slash teens in the Big Apple? Unfortunately, most of this film takes place on a freakin' boat. Jason doesn't arrive in NYC until about, oh, the last 30 minutes or so.

Still, this movie is fun, especially in the last act. My favorite scene occurs when Jason knocks Julius' (Vincent Craig Dupree) head off atop a building. He also kicks over a boombox and scares punk rockers by simply lifting his mask. Though this film squandered its potential, it's still worth a rewatch now and then.

8. Friday the 13th (2009)

The Friday the 13th remake released during a time when many classic slashers faced reboots, including Nightmare on Elm Street, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Evil Dead a few years later. Some are better than others. I personally love Fede Álvarez take on Evil Dead, and I don't mind the initial Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, directed by Marcus Nispel, who helmed this F13 reboot/remake.

Regarding this film, I've come to enjoy it more over the years. It takes everything back to basics. The kills in this one are pretty brutal too, and Derek Mears does a pretty solid job playing the big fella. He's imposing and scary.

7. Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

This was the movie fans waited and waited for, a matchup between the two biggest slashers. This premise was teased since the end of Jason Goes to Hell, when Freddy's glove reaches up from the ground, grabs Jason's mask, and pulls it down to hell.

Though Ronny Yu is no stranger to the horror genre, having done Bride of Chucky, the Hong Kong director also made a lot of action movies. That style really shows during the Freddy and Jason fight scenes. In short, this movie is campy good fun. It gave fans what they so desperately wanted, a face-off between two major genre icons.

6. Friday the 13th Pt. 3 (1982)

This movie is just very, very weird, and not only because it's in 3D. It has a biker gang that has little to do with the plot and some odd dialogue. Still, this is the movie where Jason obtains his famed hockey mask. At conventions, actor Larry Zerner, who plays Shelly, loves to joke that he's the reason Jason got his mask.

Friday the 13th Pt. 3 also has a really good final girl in Chris (Dana Kimmell). Her final confrontation with Jason in that barn is the stuff of nightmares. This movie has more highs than lows, and again, it's the movie where Jason gets his mask!

5. Friday the 13th Pt. 7: The New Blood (1988)

Listen, I know that some people really, really detest this movie. Some fans would push this way down at the bottom of the list. Maybe it's because this is one of the first Friday the 13th films I ever saw, after my dad bought it on VHS for me at a flea market, but I'll always have a soft spot for this film.

I really like the Carrie/telekinesis thread at the heart of this film. I think Lar Park-Lincoln makes a great final girl as Tina. She really kicks Jason's butt with her powers. Meanwhile, Kane Hodder adorns the hockey mask for the very first time in this film. His costume design looks great, especially that scene where he steps out of Camp Crystal Lake, and you can see his spine and rotting flesh. Much of the gore was cut out of this film, but there's a lot that works well with this one, if fans give it another chance.

4. Friday the 13th (1980)

Well, what is there to say about this one? This is the movie that started it all. It showcases Tom Savini's amazing practical effects. Kevin Bacon's character, Jack, gets offed on screen. Pamela Voorhees (Besty Palmer) avenges her son.

The original film also boasts one of the best final girls of all time, Adrienne King as Alice. Meanwhile, Palmer terrifies as Jason's vengeful mommy. This film also has one of the best jump scares of all time in its final minutes. Oh, and who can forget the late, great Walt Gorney as crazy Ralph, who warns that Crystal Lake has a "death curse." Though this is the OG, I do think a few of the sequels surpassed it.

3. Friday the 13th Pt. 2 (1981)

Sean S. Cunningham's initial film was such a success that of course, there had to be a sequel. I like Pt. 2 more than I do its predecessor. Here, we're introduced to sack head Jason. He's not too happy that Alice decapitated his mother.

I do still have gripes that Alice was killed off minutes into this film. She's denied her peaceful ending as the series' first final girl, though it also gave Adrienne King an out from the franchise and acting after a stalker incident. Still, I really, really love Amy Steel's performance as Ginny. This film also expands upon the lore of the first film and shows just how threatening Jason is, all grown up.

2. Friday the 13th Pt. 4: The Final Chapter (1984)

I suspect that for a lot of fans, this is their number one pick. The Final Chapter has a lot of rewatch value. It has a young Corey Feldman as monster kid Tommy Jarvis. I love the scene where he shows off his homemade masks. He's like a young Tom Savini, who returned to do the effects on this film.

This one also has Crispin Glover's oddly endearing dance moves. It also includes a great final girl in Trish (Kimberly Beck), who does whatever she can to fend off Jason and protect her little bro, Tommy. This entry, which was meant to be the final film in the series, is definitely a franchise high.

1. Friday the 13th Pt. 6: Jason Lives (1986)

For as much as I enjoy The Final Chapter, I like Jason Lives even more. I dig Thom Mathews' performance as the adult Tommy Jarvis, who busts out of the mental hospital, returns to Camp Blood, and accidently resurrects Jason. I adore the opening of this film and all of director Tom McLoughlin's frequent callbacks to the Universal Monsters, especially in terms of tone, atmosphere, and aesthetics.

This movie also did what Scream did a decade later. It's incredibly self-referential and pokes fun at the F13 series. It knows its horror history and the rules. This is also the first appearance of zombie Jason, and C.J. Graham does a fantastic job in the role. He's my favorite Jason, other than Kane Hodder.

Friday the 13th 1-8, along with the 2009 remake, are currently streaming on Max. Freddy v. Jason, Jason Goes to Hell, and Jason X are available to rent on most streaming services.